Practice was challenging this morning. There are some poses that, through the intensity, total enjoyment-will-devotion is experienced. I am such a yes to the fire. The fire feels good! I laugh and smile and my body-breath is one big balloon of dissolving boundary. The feeling is delicious. And then there are poses that go right to a part of my body where the intensity is of a different texture. The fire does not feel good. I can’t locate anything good about it and I have such a hard time hanging out, keeping my meditative awareness, breathing into the extreme, feeling out beyond myself, loving the experience. This morning I got plucked.
I’ve heard students say plenty of times that they aren’t strong enough and that’s why they come out of a pose. As a student myself, I know this is is erroneous. It has nothing to do with physical strength. Our bodies are designed to radiate in every pose. It has all to do with how we relate to Light. It has all to do with our persistent indulgence in our frontal personality and where we self-contract. It’s a choice we make. How do you relate to Light in that pose that utterly plucks at your “bliss”? What surfaces? Where do you go? What do you do? This is really good Yoga to know.
If all you want to do in Yoga practice is feel bliss, then as my teacher says, “it’s time for you to roll up your mat and go have a cup of coffee at a cafe somewhere.” For Real Yoga begins at the point of failure, sprinkled graciously with humor.