Mastering

Opening to Life—truly opening to Life—requires opening our WHOLE self to every single moment. From our HEARTS. 

Slowing down. Listening. Embracing whatever is within. A storm appears, so I’ll roll with that. Embracing that storm, settling into its eye and breathing deeply like a sleeping lioness. From the heart. The tender heart.
We are so afraid of opening. Opening requires softening, which goes against how we are conditioned to move through this world. And I’m going to say it: Men in particular are so afraid. To be tender, to feel, to be wrong, to let go and let in, to be with their feminine.

Unraveling

When I said to Sofia at the end of practice Monday morning that Anjali mudra at my heart was challenging for me, she said it was because I didn’t know what I truly loved deep within. That my capacity to love needed to grow, NOT AS AN EMOTION, BUT AS A STATE OF BEING. It had been a back-to-basics class in which we meticulously practiced each pose and transition of the classic Hatha Sun Salutation sequence. When I was able to get out of my own way after hearing this and soften my breath into my body, an image of my mom along with the word, “mom” flew in and out of awareness. 

Then Wednesday morning’s practice happened. 

Opening to the State of Love

Namaste in front of the heart is a devotional gesture. (As is every asana.) An ultimate gesture of LOVE. And love is not an emotion. It is not an object. It is a feeling state of being. It is everything.

So, with that said…

Positioning my arms and hands in namaste is physically challenging for me. Shoulder girdle, upper arms, forearms, wrists, fingers. It’s intense. And it really bothers me. A seemingly easy position that, every time I come into, brings up fear. My thoughts jump in and try to “fix stuff.” This frantic running around to get it right, remove the pain and discomfort. It’s so in my face. Literally. My head juts forward. My jaw tightens. My tongue tenses.

Reaching with Certainty

In practice, while in a pose, how much am I convicting to my personality, simply rehearsing emotional, mental patterns that keep me from truly opening? Get clear about what is up. Locate the part that is resisting. And REACH from that place. With CERTAINTY. With DEDICATION to why you are practicing. 

Staying in it

When you presence your awareness in front of the most tender spot of your heart, TRUST THAT. Then locate the part of your SPINE right behind it. And LISTEN to what the HEART has to offer. But to really listen you must FEEL. You must presence your FEELING-AWARENESS. And then you must REACH. Through all the intensity and resistance. You must STAY IN IT to receive the GIFT.